8 Months. Still no Photos. Missing my Dog.

I am sorry to say that I haven't taken my 8 month photos yet. I guess that means my 8 month photos will be my 8 1/2 month photos. Here's what's happened. Saturday, 10/18/14, I had to put my sweet dog, Lucy, down. Saying goodbye to her was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I couldn't let her suffer any longer, so my husband and I made the decision to let her go. My house, my home, my heart--we feel her absence. Toby, my other dog, is doing okay. He misses his sister. We are adjusting and trying to find our new  "normal." One of the interesting things that happened with Lucy's passing--I lost my appetite AND thirst. I had no desire whatsoever to drink a glass of water, or a cup of tea, or my favorite Kuppa Joy from Kuppa Joy in Old Town Clovis. My heart was so heavy. It hurt! I felt like I couldn't breathe, like a weight was on my chest. Slowly but surely, I am prodding along. I am trying to build back my strength and energy. Toby and I are enjoying brisk 1 mile walks in the cooler weather. Hopefully we will start running again this week. That's all for now.

Peace, Love and Joy,
Rachel

P.S. I am down 76lbs now!
P.S.S. Enjoy this picture of my Lucy.

8 Month Surgiversary

OMG today is 8 months! I didn't have time to take updated photos--they will have to wait until this weekend. I am still down the same weight....actually today I'm bloated so I'm down 72lbs with water weight. That's my fault for eating processed lunch meat. That stuff makes my hands, legs and feet swell up, no matter how much water I drink! I expect to see a loss on the scale, soon, because I am shrinking. My closet is pathetic--I own NO work pants and almost NO work shoes. I am going to have to get rid of all of my boots--that makes me sad, especially for my gorgeous, distressed Dan Post cowboy boots that my mom bought me for my 30th birthday. I am going to try wearing those with 3 pairs of socks to see if my foot will stay in them. If  not, I'm bringing them to work for a friend to try on.

So.... 8 months ago today I went in for surgery. At this time 8 months ago, I was sick of being in the hospital, making David walk with me so that I could get out of there! Being in the same hospital room that my uncle almost died in didn't help, either. Not the best memories in that room. And a VERY uncomfortable bed. Anyway, I still have NO regrets. I wouldn't change a thing. On second thought, maybe I would have taken a whole month off work--that might have been the only change. And that's because my job is so emotionally draining--I didn't realize that it would affect me physically. Otherwise, I am one happy lady.

Once again, I have to give God thanks for helping me through this, for leading me, for guiding me, for directing my path. He is faithful and true!

I wish you all the best evening. I will be sure to post photos this weekend. I hope you can see the difference!

Peace, Love and Joy,
Rachel

Follow-up on the Fair

I forgot to share this last night. Grilled chicken on a stick!

My Trip to the Big Fresno Fair

I went to the Big Fresno Fair today for the first time in a very, very long time. If you know me, you know that I DO NOT like large crowds. None the less, I went with work to help out with one of our day programs. At least, that was the plan. We walked a lot, and sweated even more. What I was most interested in was--you can probably guess--the food. Fair food smells amazing. Garlic fries, gigantic corn dogs, cinnamon rolls, BBQ sandwiches, cotton candy--lines of people waited to get their deliciousness on. I, however, was dreading lunch time. What could I eat? It seemed like EVERYTHING was dipped in batter and fried. They even had fried frog legs for goodness sake! Luckily, I found a nice little food truck that offered some grilled options. Today, for the first time ever, I had grilled chicken on a stick. It was $7.50 for a large skewer of nothing but chicken. The amount of chicken could feed me for 3 meals, so I wrapped up my leftovers and stuck them in my purse. Yes, I had chicken, on a stick, in my cute Betsey Johnson purse. Back to the moral of the story. Well, the moral of the story is this, the chicken was delicous. I mean, SO YUMMY. A year ago, I wouldn't have been able to appreciate it. I wouldn't have even tried it. I probably would have eaten one of those giant corn dogs and a cinnamon roll, then spent all night sick to my stomach. And that feeling, it is so not worth it.

Here is what I learned today. Food can be a sort of idol. The way people were eating was CRAY. And I've done that before, many times.  For me, I don't want to live to enjoy food. I want to eat to fuel my body. I want to be strong. I want to avoid that sick feeling from over eating or from eating junk, forever. I'm not perfect. I am still working on it, and will be working on it for the rest of my human life. Today, I am thankful for chicken on a stick. Who knew eating could feel so good?!

Peace, Love and Joy,
Rachel

Pounds Hanging On for Dear Life!

Next week I will be celebrating my 8 month surgiversary and I really, really, REALLY want to  be at an 80 lb weight loss. The reality is, the number doesn't matter.....but I would LOVE to see 80 lbs gone. That right there is a sign of my OCD--I want the 8 in 80 for my 8 month surgiversary. I have to confess that it'll be a long shot if I make it. My weight loss for months 5, 6, 7 has slowed down, almost to a crawl. To date, I am down 73 lbs. That's still a crazy amount of weight loss, right?! Yesterday I bought a dress in a size 12. OMG it has been about 9 years since I wore a 12! That's the smallest size I've every been. It's pretty amazing to think that I won't be stopping there. Today I got new shoes in a 7 1/2. A 7 1/2! I used to wear a size 8 1/2 to 9. Regardless of the number of pounds that I lose by next Tuesday, I know that I am doing great and feeling great. Inches are dropping off, so I know that the pounds are hanging on for dear life......but they are about to lose their grip and fall to their deaths. Haha!  I saw this quote on Facebook and I feel it, exactly--Fat, prepare to die.

Food update: I am in love with Valencia peanuts from Costco and also the roasted almonds from Costco. If I am low on energy, I eat about an ounce of one of those, and then I'm pepped up again. I have confirmed that tortillas = bad for my stomach. Just one bite of tortilla feels like there's a giant boulder in my stomach. Since my stomach is roughly the size of an egg, that's saying something! I still do not like fruit, although cherries are tolerable. I cannot stand peanut butter anymore. Ick!  Too sweet, even the natural kind. I still enjoy green veggies--broccoli, spinach, green beans, cabbage--but in small portions. Very small portions to be exact.

Activity update: I still hate working out. I know I say that every time I write about my activity. I just don't like it. I don't like the feeling of my heart rate increasing. I don't like the feeling of sweat. I get afraid that I'll have an asthma attack. Even with those complaints, I recognize that my body needs intense activity. That's why, startig today, I am training with my husband for  a half marathon. Running is NOT easy for me. I can do a lot of things with decent endurance, but not running. Tonight I only made it about 1/4 mile. Well, that's a start.

Now it's time for some down time before the crazy work week begins.

Peace, Love and Joy,
Rachel